This blog is going to be about lots of things that are MOVING in my life, or another good way to put it would be to say that this blog is about lots of ways that I am MOVING.
1: One day, about a week ago, I get a phone call from my landlords (of 2 years) telling me that they are MOVING to SLC and selling the house. That left me with 5 weeks to find a place. I decided, after freaking out for a bit, that I just needed to sit down and be realistic about things. I needed to make a list of my wants and needs for a new place of living. My roommate Emmy and I looked at some pretty interesting houses; some scarier beyond all reason. Finally, after we were really starting to worry, my sister Ashley called and told me that their renter was going to be MOVING out and we could MOVE in to their house if we wanted. That news couldn't have come at a better time! So this Saturday I will be MOVING into a new home! Hopefully it will be as good to me as the one I am in now.
2: I have decided that I need to start MOVING in another way. I need to start exercising on a regular basis! I bought an elliptical trainer about a year ago and it is covered in dust. It is time to clear the dust away and get into shape! One thing that I am also MOVING away from is my love for Dr. Pepper and Diet Coke. As of tomorrow I am giving up my two loves so that I can feel healthier and MOVE faster! I know what you are thinking.... that I have given it up before and it didn't last long. But this time, I have competition and motivation!
3: The next thing I am MOVING away from is a harder one for me; probably the hardest one yet. I am MOVING away from the old me; the one that get's walked all over by everyone, and doesn't do anything about it. I have always been told that I let people walk on me and I never believed it, until recently. There is a girl at work who pretty much runs my life for me and I don't stop her because I can't stand up to her. There are people around me all the time who I do things for, until they expect it. Now it's just my job to do those things. This isn't necessarily a bad quality to have, but in moderation. I need to learn those boundaries so that I can live healthy and be happy. But the thing is, I would rather hurt myself than let someone else down. Not any more!!! From here on out I am MOVING away from getting walked on, and I am going to start sticking up for myself!
There are alot of changes taking place in my life in the next month. They are exciting and scary. But I can do it!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
How Do You Do It? (Written March 3, 2008)
A question has been on my mind this past week: How do you do it? I don't see how it is physically or mentally possible for a boy and a girl to meet, fall in love, get engaged, and get married. It truly is a miracle.
I used to be one of those girls who believed in love; who lived for love, but my view of it has changed in the past few months. I have seen close friends get hurt; not just my girl friends, but my guy friends as well. I have also been hurt a time or two... or three. I have found that each relationship has left me more and more bitter and cynical than the last and I am starting to think that is it not worth the pain. I am starting to think that I cannot believe in love anymore, not for myself anyway.
I am not placing blame on guys or girls. Each sex has their own faults and excuses. Each person has their own reason for breaking someone's heart. The point I am trying to make is that relationships are hard and unfair. They hurt more than they should. It is so hard to meet someone and let your guard down long enough to let them see your heart; long enough to fall in love. It is easier to give up early on, than it is to take the chance of getting hurt.
So, for all of you who have made it, I want to say Congratulations, you did it! I don't know how, but you did it. And I commend you for making it look so easy. But as far as love goes for me, I give up; I surrender. I am done letting relationships run my life and I am done letting the pressure to get married from society and family rule my mind and heart.
I don't want all who read this to think that I am against love, because I will always and forever be a hopeless romantic (which I think makes things worse for me). The side of me that writes this is sad and hurt from past experiences, but there is a part of me that still has hope that things will work out in the end. I know that you only win once(hopefully) and that is the one that counts the most. I can't wait for that day. But for now, the state of my heart, and the truth of logic do not coincide. For now, I remain.
I used to be one of those girls who believed in love; who lived for love, but my view of it has changed in the past few months. I have seen close friends get hurt; not just my girl friends, but my guy friends as well. I have also been hurt a time or two... or three. I have found that each relationship has left me more and more bitter and cynical than the last and I am starting to think that is it not worth the pain. I am starting to think that I cannot believe in love anymore, not for myself anyway.
I am not placing blame on guys or girls. Each sex has their own faults and excuses. Each person has their own reason for breaking someone's heart. The point I am trying to make is that relationships are hard and unfair. They hurt more than they should. It is so hard to meet someone and let your guard down long enough to let them see your heart; long enough to fall in love. It is easier to give up early on, than it is to take the chance of getting hurt.
So, for all of you who have made it, I want to say Congratulations, you did it! I don't know how, but you did it. And I commend you for making it look so easy. But as far as love goes for me, I give up; I surrender. I am done letting relationships run my life and I am done letting the pressure to get married from society and family rule my mind and heart.
I don't want all who read this to think that I am against love, because I will always and forever be a hopeless romantic (which I think makes things worse for me). The side of me that writes this is sad and hurt from past experiences, but there is a part of me that still has hope that things will work out in the end. I know that you only win once(hopefully) and that is the one that counts the most. I can't wait for that day. But for now, the state of my heart, and the truth of logic do not coincide. For now, I remain.
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